When the kids were getting dressed after their bath the other day, Luke tried to claim Charlotte’s underwear as his own, declaring, “My underwear.”
Karen responded with: “Luke, when you start to use the bathroom, you’ll get to wear boys’ underwear. Boys underwear is different, it has a secret hole.”
A secret hole? What’s so secret about it? As men, are we members (yes, that’s a penis joke) of some clandestine group? Are we secret agents, like James Bond, wearing clothing designed by Q?
I believe she was trying to get Luke excited about 1) using the bathroom and 2) wearing boys’ underwear, attempting to make it sound special.
Apparently, it worked on some level, as her comment got both Charlotte’s and Luke’s attention (in addition to mine).
Charlotte must have believed that Luke was too young for such privileged information and suggested, “How about you tell me the secret and not Luke?”
Not Luke? He’s the one who’s going to need to know.
Karen added, “Well, boys can pee without taking off their underwear. They can use a hole in their underwear.”
Both kids looked pretty perplexed, so I got some underwear from my bureau and showed them the so-called “secret hole.” If it’s possible, they seemed both intrigued and let-down at the same time.
Speaking of secret holes, Charlotte made her first serious attempt at deceiving us the other day. Her motivation: wanting to watch tv. (I’ve battled a television addiction for years and am afraid it’s in her genes.)
On Saturdays, either Karen or I sleep in while the other one takes the kids downstairs. After Karen woke up and showered, she was getting dressed with the kids in our room while I was doing a few things in the office.
Charlotte asked if she could watch tv, prompting the following exchange (which I could hear bits and pieces of):
Karen: Did you watch tv this morning?
Charlotte: No, but shhhh, don’t ask Dad.
Karen: Why, are you not telling me the truth?
Charlotte: No… if we watch it quietly, Dad won’t know.
The gig was up. Needless to say, she did not get to watch tv. Karen filled me in shortly thereafter, prompting this exchange:
Me: “Charlotte, did you tell Mom we didn’t watch tv this morning?
Charlotte: “Yes.”
Me: “Why did you tell her that?”
Charlotte: “I don’t know…”
Then, thinking better of it, she added, “Because I wanted to watch tv.”
I knew our kids would start trying to deceive us sooner or later. I just thought it would be later. Oh well. I also didn’t think that my two and a half year old son would be trying to take his four-year old sister’s underwear. Here’s to the secret hole.
I hope you enjoyed today’s serving of ‘mac & cheese.’
